Generation Y and the Recession

You said it all, little sister:  "I love my generation. Truly I do. But we are the biggest group of people I know who look at life from an "instant gratification - let's ride the elevator to the top instead of climbing the ladder - and do [insert whatever] as fast n' easy as possible with little physical or mental effort" perspective."

I don't believe in blanket-statements either, and the fact is that Mr. Rural and I did raise our kids differently than other parents our age were doing.  And I know that you were not brought up the way most of your peers were, so bear that in mind, too.  When I say "we" and "you", I AM making a blanket generalization. 


But speaking as a member of my generation:  It is our fault...we, your parents.  We raised you up to have a sense of entitlement.  We raised your generation to believe that they didn't need to earn an allowance, or to contribute to the family's well-being by doing chores.  We taught you to believe that you could behave how you wished, talked as you pleased and have whatever you wanted.


When you misbehaved in school, we blamed the teacher and said you wouldn't have done whatever you were accused of.  We told the teachers that we would sue the socks off of them if they paddled you, and created a school room full of smart-mouth kids who knew they could get away with anything.


If you got caught shoplifting, we bailed you out, blamed the cops for picking on you and then bought you whatever you'd swiped.  We bought you a first car that was better than what we ourselves were driving, paid for your gas, insurance and your speeding tickets.  We applied for yet another credit card (the old ones were maxed out) so you could have a prom dress from a designer and go in a limo. 


If you didn't make the cheer squad, we confronted whoever made that choice with ugly accusations.  We made excuses for you when you failed a class, or were disrespectful to us, or vandalized the school as a "prank".  We called it bi-polar, ADD or ADHD instead of spoiled.  When you got caught using drugs, we blamed it on the crowd and not on your own decisions.  We sent you to counseling when we should have hauled you out to the woodshed.


And then we sent you out into the world.  You thought that life would always go your way.  Nothing in your experience had ever told you that life was not fair.  We bailed you out of your credit card trouble (maybe more than once).  We paid your rent and commented how hard it is for young folks to make a living nowadays, even though we noticed that you had a big-screen TV, a Nintendo-something, a Playstation AND a Wii, plus a wide-screen laptop, a high-end latte machine and leather theater seating.


If we, your parents, had ever said, "You've made your bed; now lie in it."  If we had ever said, "No." and stuck to our guns.  If we'd ever said, "If you want the Nike Airs, you'll have to get a job to pay for them."  We didn't do that.  We gave and gave and excused and enabled and spoiled a generation rotten.  We gave you medication instead of discipline, more activities instead of structure and material goods instead of values.  We didn't smack you upside the head when you were disrespectful to your grandparents or your teacher.  We allowed you to treat us like crap, because we wanted to be your friend, instead of your parent.


We didn't teach you how to work.  We bought into the preposterous notion that it takes a village to raise a child.  It doesn't.  It takes parents who PARENT.  Parents who teach their children that they are required to respect their elders, pull their weight and do their damn chores.  Parents who are willing to do the hard stuff:  discipline their children and mean it. 


I'm not going to say that this is something new.  This has happened before in the history of the world.  When we become too cool for old-fashioned ideas like respect, honor, morality and responsibility, we set ourselves up for a trip down the slippery slope of economic, moral and cultural decline. 


I DO believe, however, that there is a minority who will find the way to rise above.  I think that there are some people who either raised by parents different than the "we" I talked about above, or at least had the influence of grandparents or friend's parents and know that there is another way to live.  What worries me is, what happens until that golden day, when your generation and mine find our wits, take responsibility and take action?

Love,
Rural Mom