Merry Christmas
From the Generation Gap Girls!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Holiday Time
You asked a very interesting question, Yuppie Girl, because only last night I realized something about myself which I probably should have discovered LONG ago. You would think that by the time you reach your mid-40s, there would be no more discoveries, right? Wrong!
I am absolutely, horrendously afraid....to fail. Seriously. I start getting sick to my stomach and a little clammy around the middle. My pulse quickens and my blood pressure rises and I even tremble at the thought of failing at something.
Don't give me that "nobody likes to fail" line. I think maybe it's worse than that.
You see, I worry enough about failure that if I take on something new, I throw myself into it wholeheartedly. Meanwhile, I can't let go of anything else that is already on my plate, because that would be failing, too. By the end of the day, I am so spent that I fail to sleep, for worrying about what might be slipping through the cracks.
Worse...I think I avoid a lot of things because I am not sure I will succeed at them. It's only partly that I am sensible about how much I can truly devote to something. If I don't think that there is a good chance of success, I avoid it like I avoid my mother-in-law.
What am I missing in life? How many things could I be experiencing if I could just learn to embrace failure, or treat failure like a learning opportunity? Is it really so bad to fail?
My heart of hearts is screaming, "YESSSS it's really SO bad to fail!!! You CAN'T let yourself fail!!!"
Love, Rural Mom
I am absolutely, horrendously afraid....to fail. Seriously. I start getting sick to my stomach and a little clammy around the middle. My pulse quickens and my blood pressure rises and I even tremble at the thought of failing at something.
Don't give me that "nobody likes to fail" line. I think maybe it's worse than that.
You see, I worry enough about failure that if I take on something new, I throw myself into it wholeheartedly. Meanwhile, I can't let go of anything else that is already on my plate, because that would be failing, too. By the end of the day, I am so spent that I fail to sleep, for worrying about what might be slipping through the cracks.
Worse...I think I avoid a lot of things because I am not sure I will succeed at them. It's only partly that I am sensible about how much I can truly devote to something. If I don't think that there is a good chance of success, I avoid it like I avoid my mother-in-law.
What am I missing in life? How many things could I be experiencing if I could just learn to embrace failure, or treat failure like a learning opportunity? Is it really so bad to fail?
My heart of hearts is screaming, "YESSSS it's really SO bad to fail!!! You CAN'T let yourself fail!!!"
Love, Rural Mom
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Holidays
Dear Rural Mom,
LOVED your Thanksgiving memory. Warm fuzzies surrounded me just reading it ...until I got to the last few paragraphs! But in all seriousness, the beginning sounded straight out of a movie!
For whatever reason, Thanksgiving was a holiday my family rarely gathered for and after my mom died I almost came to dread the holiday. But Christmas . .well that is another story, my family was always able to pull that off! Of course when I married the man I am now separated from . . his family had movie type of holidays. The kind where you sit around the dining room table and sing carols while someone played the piano in the background. I remember my first experience with his family . . I felt very . . out of place. It was a weird moment of experiencing exactly what I wanted but yet still feeling very uncomfortable with it.
Now that I am "single", the holidays this year are different. My Thanksgiving this time around was . . .better than I could ever imagine. I flew back home and spent it with my aunt and cousins. I remember thinking how nice it was to actually spend a holiday with MY family as we always spent the holidays with his family. Mainly . . because deep down I was ashamed that my family wouldn't measure up to his . .amazing right?
And now . . .Christmas awaits us in just a few weeks. I can't wait until it's over. I know my mood has alot to do with my personal situation of being separated/divorced but the other part of it . .is also just sick of the whole Christmas scene.
Wow. . .I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed! I didn't mean to turn this post into a depressing tale!!
So Rural Mom . .I have a question for you . . let's backtrack a bit and recapture the year.
How has 2009 added to your life? Were there any moments of personal growth? Any a-ha moments you just have to share? Any life altering experiences? Anything???
xoxo,
Yuppie Girl
LOVED your Thanksgiving memory. Warm fuzzies surrounded me just reading it ...until I got to the last few paragraphs! But in all seriousness, the beginning sounded straight out of a movie!
For whatever reason, Thanksgiving was a holiday my family rarely gathered for and after my mom died I almost came to dread the holiday. But Christmas . .well that is another story, my family was always able to pull that off! Of course when I married the man I am now separated from . . his family had movie type of holidays. The kind where you sit around the dining room table and sing carols while someone played the piano in the background. I remember my first experience with his family . . I felt very . . out of place. It was a weird moment of experiencing exactly what I wanted but yet still feeling very uncomfortable with it.
Now that I am "single", the holidays this year are different. My Thanksgiving this time around was . . .better than I could ever imagine. I flew back home and spent it with my aunt and cousins. I remember thinking how nice it was to actually spend a holiday with MY family as we always spent the holidays with his family. Mainly . . because deep down I was ashamed that my family wouldn't measure up to his . .amazing right?
And now . . .Christmas awaits us in just a few weeks. I can't wait until it's over. I know my mood has alot to do with my personal situation of being separated/divorced but the other part of it . .is also just sick of the whole Christmas scene.
Wow. . .I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed! I didn't mean to turn this post into a depressing tale!!
So Rural Mom . .I have a question for you . . let's backtrack a bit and recapture the year.
How has 2009 added to your life? Were there any moments of personal growth? Any a-ha moments you just have to share? Any life altering experiences? Anything???
xoxo,
Yuppie Girl
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