The title of your last post made me think. "A Church, A Courthouse and Goodbye". Isn't it interesting that in our society, we have to do these private things in such public places?
Oh, sure, I realize that the idea of the church wedding, and celebrating your new union in the sight of all your loved ones, is supposed to be a joyous occasion. But I wonder, how would it affect the notion of marriage if we had a different expectation for the wedding?
We make a promise on our wedding day. We promise to love and honor this person and to put them before all others. Is that something that would be better said in private? Would we be better able to hash out the details of what marriage will mean to the two of us, if we just went into a little room somewhere and made a contract?
What about divorce? If divorce was a quiet, private arrangement and no one else got involved, would that lessen the pain of it all?
In our world of legal rights and responsibilities, this would never work.. Still, I have to wonder. If the definition of your relationship with someone was a private matter, and it was considered prying to be asked, how would that change us? You would never ask even a close friend about their intimate habits, or to define their orgasms for you. At least, you shouldn't.
We do live in a very public culture, though. People will admit things on a nationally televised talk show that I would have trouble admitting to myself. Whatever is shocking, embarrassing, titillating or tantalizing is fair game now. I don't believe it's helping our society at all.
So here's what I think. Maybe we need to rethink our cultural boundaries. Maybe we need to revitalize the idea of privacy. Maybe we all need to learn to stop prying into other people's business, stop judging their decisions and start attending to our own life. Maybe we should start focusing more on other aspects of a couple's relationship than on the beginning....or the end.
Love,
Rural Mom
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